Another friend of mine shared this with me. I think it’s important to remember that sometimes things are necessary to end. This is a short explanation of Dr. Henry Cloud and his book, “Necessary Endings”.
In the previous post, I talked about generosity and giving. Dr. Cloud talks about that sometimes, even in leadership positions, there are necessary endings. To move forward, you have to let go of the things that may be holding you back.
I see this in my friendship that just dissolved. I had been “sick” for so long before and during our friendship, that when while I am getting better and better, maybe she doesn’t know how to respond to the changes I have made in myself. We are both in different spots from when we first met. For me, my life has done a 360. I am definitely not what I used to be.
I have made some significant changes in my life. One of the big one’s is that I stand up for myself. I say the things that I mean to say. Like the saying….I mean what I say and say what I mean. There are some people in my circle of friends that don’t really like this. I figure it’s honesty. I need to tell the truth. But regarding truth….what is truth? It’s different for each person. What is true for you isn’t necessarily true for me. Right? Our realities are different. I have had this drilled into me this past weekend. Can you judge a person by their reality that they live in? Can we actually give constructive criticism for something a person is doing without them telling us that isn’t true because they don’t believe it?
These are things I am struggling with these past few days. What is ok to say to another person without them over-reacting by saying the above things? Is it just being nit-picky or just that they don’t want to admit to what I see or someone else might see in them? I have never encountered a person who questions intentions so often and almost demands that their opinion is right. Does that make sense? Who is right? Who is wrong? Does it really matter in the whole scheme of things? I don’t think friendships should be based on who is right and who is wrong. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter that much.
So moving on is necessary. I am off to buy the book…..I think it will be a good read.
- Henry Cloud’s Message to Innovative Leaders – YouTube
The team at Willow Creek Association asked Henry Cloud to take a few minutes and share what he would say to innovative church leaders.