sometimes i just don’t understand
all that is working in my life
what i have worked for so much
is turning into a fine mess.
the pieces are falling further part
not closer together as it would seem
blocks, barriers, twists and turns
questions that don’t have answers….
she asks me “why?”
and I really don’t know.
but how do you tell a little girl the answer to such an adult question?
i just don’t know.
my life isn’t where i thought it would be
at this time or place.
i need her back home with me
she is my family.
staying here only makes it worse.
lonely days turn into lonely nights
i miss her waking and her sleeping
i miss her …..3 years now.
important. 3. years.
she is angry.
she has every right.
but what can i do now?
i can’t fix it.
that’s all i can do right now….
how do i get her back?
what do i have to do?
what hoops do i have to jump through this time?
i will do just about anything to get her home with me.
but i need to leave here to do that.
i won’t bring her back to this city to live
not where they took her away
we both need a new beginning….
somewhere new and different.
why do they have to pretend to be better than me?
can’t we just be equals?
but you gotta be one up….all the time….
i am not in a race with anyone but myself….
and that isn’t even a race.
it’s a challenge for myself and only me.
people outgrow relationships
friendships that once were….
but God is still there with us
but the pain doesn’t lessen a lot
we keep moving forward….
no turning back.