Life and Everyday

Life and more

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”
― Rumi

Me in the purple is the day of surgery 8.11.11

Me in the red is today 1.18.12

75 pound weight loss thus far

I finally got a picture to compare the beginning of my weight loss journey.  I can’t believe it’s only 5 months out and I have lost 75 pounds.  It’s been rough at times and easier at others.  But I wouldn’t change a thing.  Except maybe the puking part  LOL

Since moving to Woodbury, I have been trying to get things started again.  My diet, exercise, college (possibly), work, therapy, etc etc.  It seems like such a slow process at times.  I have some apps in for work, talked to a dude at Argosy about college work, and started with a new therapist today.  His name is Adam Chase.  He is really a nice man.  He seems very knowledgeable and insightful.  I was able to tell him about the situation with K and some of my history.  He is interested in helping me get K back home.  As I talked to him, I realize that I have been “sick” for nearly 60% of my life.  All I have known seems to be depression and anxiety and “craziness”.  For the past 2 year tho, I have come out of the fog of crap and lived a fairly good life.  I have not been hospitalized for nearly 2 years for anything due to mental health reasons.  Yeah, I have been in therapy, but it has been very helpful and I have learned so much about myself and life and choices and so much more.  My life has been about some horrible choices I have made.  But it’s how I decided to cope with everything around me.  I realize that sometimes it was just a plain ol’ cope out on my part.  But I am LIVING today.  I see things more clearly.  I have chosen to be better.  Do better.  Live better.  There are still some people in my life that see me as “sick Julie”, but I am not sick.  I am not what I used to be.  My thinking is clearer, my decisions are mostly better.  Yeah, I still make some pretty stupid mistakes somedays, but we all do.  Live and learn.

There are many of my friends who talk about setting goals for 2012.  I haven’t thought much about it because I hate setting them for fear of never attaining them.  So, failure is still something I am not comfortable with.  I haven’t decided whether or not I will still set out a few goals for myself this year or not.  I know it’s past the middle of January….where the heck has time gone already?

So….goals.  Hmmmmm.  I don’t want to say they are so much as goals as things I want to do this year.

1. Continue to lose weight to reach my goal of between 150-160 pounds

2. Continue and improve my exercise routine

3.  Keep on working on bettering myself and getting K home with me.

4.  Work on my relationships with my friends and family and make them better and healthier

5.  Be content

6. Continue to work on my faith and spirituality

So there ya go.  A few thoughts anyways.  I hope things continue to go as well as they have.  I don’t want to sound conceited or anything.  I just don’t wanna dive back into the old.  Life is good.

“Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah…it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you.”
― Rumi


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