Ash Wednesday…..I think I missed it

Yeah, it’s been one of those days.  Struggling but I don’t really know why.  Other than I absolutely have NOTHING to do.  Job hunting is sucking more and more.  There is just nothing out there, and what is out there either I am not quite qualified for or it’s something I physically can’t do right now.  On the bright side, I have an interview with a family next Tuesday to “nanny” or hang out with their twin girls.  Their names are Piper and Lucy.  What cute names.  I hope they will hire me for a little while anyways.   That will give me some routine and schedule in my life.  I need that…..or something.

Pray good things happen I guess.  Keep the faith.

Eating.  Still hate it.  I ate a bit of steak tonight.  Something I probably shouldn’t have.  But I did.  Had a bit of mashed taters with it.  I also drank some Mt. Dew.  That in itself is a no no.  I am ruining my diet plan.  Eating plan rather.  Back on the boat tomorrow morning. I want to get out and walk tomorrow too.  Maybe do the bands tomorrow too.  I need to get working on this, seriously working on it.  Or I will never make it to where I want to be.  ugh.  Why does losing weight have to be such hard work?  Staying in a good zone such hard work?  It seems so easy for some folks and for a person like me, I have to work and work and work at it.  Hate that.  But I will do it.  I need to do it.  For myself and for my K.  For us to be alive and fun and healthy.  It’s all gotta work that way.

Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat. <—–got that from FB today.  and that is exactly what it is somedays.  ugh.

soooo, there it is.  Life goes on.  I am still going.  My depression isn’t as bad.  M has finally quit calling and texting me.  I hope he gets lost somewhere and I never hear or see him again.

Talked with my friend A yesterday.  Her daughter turns 1 this weekend.  She invited me over for her birthday lunch on Sunday.  I am seriously thinking about going.  I won’t know a soul except A.  But maybe that will be fun anyways.  who knows.  I need to get out more and do more.  I need to find things that make me happy and content again.

ohhhhh…..Grand Canyon University sent me stuff to register for classes in the next term.  wooohooo.  I might get it all done after all.  How exciting.  I hope it doesn’t break my bank.  I don’t have much money to be doing any more classes.  But I so wanna be done with it all.  So am going to do it.  Will call the admissions dude back tomorrow.  hmmmm….will keep ya posted on that.

Happy Ash Wednesday.  †

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