This is K and I at Carver Lake Park today. We had such fun. The sun was bright. Hence my squinty eyes. LOL It’s been a challenge since she has been up here. Testing limits, testing if I really lover her still, wondering if I am sincere to my word, etc. She has had a couple meltdowns but they haven’t lasted nearly as long as they have in the past. I know she is struggling with being away from me. I struggle with being away from her. But, I told her today, we have 3 weeks together now. We gotta get this figured out. And if you are planning on coming back home with me, things need to change. I think she finally realizes that she does have choices and her choices make a reaction from mom and grandma. She sees that her negative choices lead to negative consequences. I think she realizes that when she does what she needs to do and that, she is more apt to get to do the things she really wants to do. I hope while we have our 3 weeks together that she and I can re-bond and also get some stuff set up so that she and grandma don’t have to butt heads all the time.
Going back to Mayo Clinic tomorrow to get a shot in my knee. I am not sure what it is called, but I am praying and hoping that it helps longer than regular cortisone. I will let ya know.
I have been so tired lately. It’s like my butt is draggin. I have been moving around more, exercising, walking. I thought it was supposed to rev up my metabolism…..not make me so darn tired all the time. I don’t know. Still going to go to the Y tomorrow. Need to workout a bit and then swim with K for awhile in the afternoon. I know it’s all good for me. Gotta get rid of the “saddlebags” on my hips/thighs. I also want to improve my strength. So lift a few weights. I will keep praying and hoping all this stuff I am doing will pay off for me. I know that one other thing is that I need to get an eating plan set up. I need to stick by it and keep doing it.
My other concern lately is my spirituality. Being or becoming centered. I can’t quite seem to get to my peaceful self again. I know I can do it…have done it before many times. I talked with Adam again this last week. We talked about what I want to do. Where I want to be. I talked to him about that I talked with Northwestern University in St. Paul. (I think that is what it was). Major in psychology. But yet, that isn’t exactly what I want to do. I want to work with people. I want to be with people. I want to share what I have learned and what I know. I know I have the tools and personal experience that may be helpful for others. I have shared some things with friends going through stuff….I know it works. Then I think about possibly doing healing touch and/or reiki. I really want to do massage therapy but with the lupus and arthritis, I don’t think my joints and stuff in my hands could handle that as a job everyday. I think I will be talking with Adam more about this next week. I am glad that I have gone back to work with him for therapy. I think that he can really help me.
Mom and Tiny leave for Texas this Wednesday. The will be gone until nearly Easter. I have no clue what I am going to do while down at her house while K is in school. Take my computer and stuff. Find some good reads. Something. Will have to think on that a bit more this week.
Have a great week.