My plate is full

I feel like this past week I have been going non stop.  VBS all week, every morning.  Add a few major storms in there.  Weather has been weird.  Add a lot of pain from fibro and arthritis and lupus.  Doctor appointments, therapy, PT, K stuff and entertaining.  I am so trying to figure out a schedule for us.  This was NOT the week to do it.

With that said, we head back to Iowa tomorrow.  K can not eat or drink anything past midnight.  She needs to be at the hospital by 7:30am Monday morning.  Surgery is at 8:30am.  She is finally getting her tonsils out.  They are also going to get that hardened wax and crud out of her ears.  So she is going to be a sore and hurting little girl after this is all done.  A few weeks of recovery.  What makes this difficult is that I need to be back up here in MN Tuesday morning by 10 am.  My last week of classes is this next week.  I have to finish up a couple papers.  One needs to be turned in by tomorrow evening.  I will be working on that tomorrow before we leave and have it posted in by that time.  I have done my DQ and responses.  So that is good to go.

There is much unpacking and putting away to do also.  Little by little it’s getting done but I don’t feel like it’s good enough yet.  I need to do more.  I hate it when I say it, feel it.  I know it doesn’t have to be perfect.  in my head i know this.  But trying to get my heart to understand is another story.

Add my eating and weight loss too.  I have totally fallen off the wagon on this.  I haven’t gained or lost.  But I know what I am doing is not good for.  I am getting back into old patterns.  I need to refocus.  I need to get to the new doctor and clinic that will follow up and help me.  The U of M just isn’t cutting it for me.  They offer no support…just a 3 month visit.  I need more.

I feel so selfish writing about all these NEEDS.  I know take it to God.  I know He can cover me with this.  I keep taking them back once I give them over.  It’s so hard to just let HIM handle my worry and anxiety.  LifeChurch message this week is the last in the series on Seeing from a different Perspective.  New Perspective on Worry.  I so needed to hear that message tonight.  Gotta listen to it again and let it sink in.

Trying to be mindful.  Trying to bring back in skills I have learned.  Trying and trying and trying………

So much self doubt.  Anxiety  Worry Fear

FEAR!!!!

another topic for writing next time.

Pray for peace in my heart.  Peace in my life.  Peace for K and my mom.

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