Heart Pain

I have heart pain tonight.  I read the obituary of the little girls who were killed in the car accident the other day.  http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/globegazette/obituary.aspx?n=cassidy-leigh-stehn&pid=158504707&fhid=6465

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/globegazette/obituary.aspx?n=hana-riedinger&pid=158503925&fhid=6465

Hundreds attend vigil for victims of auto accident

18 hours ago  •  By MARY PIEPER

NORTHWOOD — Hundreds of people attended a candlelight vigil for Cassidy Stehn and Hana Riedinger on the playground where the two girls used to play.

Cassidy, 9, of Northwood, and Hana, 12, of rural Kensett, were killed in a motor vehicle accident east of Hanlontown Tuesday.

Both were students in the Northwood-Kensett School District. The vigil was held at the Northwood-Kensett Elementary playground.

Several members of the local clergy led the service.

“There are so many, Lord, who are hurting,” said the Rev. Wendy Gillan, pastor of the United Methodist Church in Northwood. “All of us feel this terrible tragedy and this loss clear into our bones.”

People in the crowd wept as she prayed for Cassidy and Hana, as well as the other children injured in the accident, which occurred when they were in a van on the way to a canoeing trip.

She also prayed for the law enforcement officers and other emergency workers who responded to the scene.

“We are grateful that you are with them and you are helping them,” she said.

In addition, she prayed for the two drivers involved in the accident.

“Continue to be with them and heal them,” she said.

The Rev. Karen Grandall, pastor of First Lutheran Church in Northwood, told the crowd that Destiny Bruce, 10, of Northwood, is still at St. Marys Hospital in Rochester, Minn., and can’t receive visitors yet, but thoughts and prayers can be left for her online at Caringbridge.

“It will be a long and tedious healing process for her,” she said.

The crowd sang “Jesus Loves Me” during the vigil.

“I can’t believe all the people who are here. It’s wonderful,” said Northwood resident Joan Watts.

She said she came to the vigil “just for support for everyone” and for closure.

“That’s why everyone is here,” she said.

Northwood-Kensett Superintendent Tom Nugent said several parents organized the vigil to help with the healing process.

“The community is rallying together,” he said. “This is nice.”

 

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these past few days have been very trying for me being a single mom.  K has been having outbursts of “I wants”, and “you always”.  I try hard to try not to play into her stuff.  She used to fight with mom like this.  My mom would engage in war of words with her.  I choose not to.  I give her direction.  I stand by it.  I feel like a bad mom at times cuz she gets so mad at me.  But I will not let her be in control of this house like she was at Grandma’s.  She pretty much ruled the roost there.  She is 8 and is a kid.  She needs rules and limits and expectations.  I will listen, not judge.  I will guide her and love her the best I can.  She is still so mad at me.  It hurts my heart.  I know I am taking it personally but I can’t help it tonight.  She has said some pretty hurtful things.  I need to let them go.

I had therapy today.  Which was good for me because I needed to talk with Adam about taking things personally right now.  Even the crap with my mom and other family.  Lots of hurtful words going around and I feel like my heart can’t take much more.

K and I went to the beach yesterday.  Sun and sand and water.  I got burned…even had sunscreen on.  My back is pretty red.  My face too.  My hair is almost white blonde in places.  Which is kinda nice, covers or blends well with my gray hair.  I don’t have to color now…for now.  LOL

Now to figure out what to do next.  I really need to get on my homework.  But feel like just going to bed.

We’ll see.

♥ you guys.

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