Once again I find myself confused by human behavior. It seems to me that the great number of people want to believe their problems are completely unique. While this is partially true in the sense that no 2 situations are exactly a like the underlying problems are. Yet most are offended if you try to help because you’ve been there. Why are people so scared of the truth? So scared to open up? So scared to be themselves? It’s like to admit others know what it’s like is looking in the mirror and hating what you look like when it should be the opposite. Which brings me to my next problem with human behavior. Why do people shy away from people trying to help intellectually and emotionally and instead turn to the superficial for support. I always hear about someone having bad luck in relationships or always being hurt and it’s because of this. Because people avoid emotional and intellectual connections so when it get to that point in a relationship where you can’t avoid it you see that void and get hurt. I go right after the emotional and intellectual and everyone runs away. When I am honest and speak my truth, people turn around and walk away from me. My philosophy of not running and hiding from problems and being honest has made everyone I have ever known run from me except maybe two people.
After writing that I realize I run and hide from most problems. The more I open myself up for human interaction the more confused and frustrated I become. Who has the answers? Do I have to change who I am to be a part of society? I’m just a lady looking through the window to the rest of the world, unable to step through that window and join. I think I want to but these people are different than me. A different breed I can’t seem to exist with. How do you get answers to questions no one is willing to listen to you? I’m so scared of my destiny because I don’t see an end game. I don’t see a tomorrow when I close my eyes. There are so many people who have no clue who I am. I thought I was doing better. I am not.