Like my job but…….

I-love-my-job

 

I really do love my job, but am hating that I cannot be myself there.  I am not supposed to talk to other teachers because I am not a teacher.  I am a reading tutor.  I am not supposed to talk about myself to anyone.  “It’s called professionalism” according to the school.   I am the peon that does the grunt work for those teachers because I need the hours to complete my year as a tutor.  So I trace and cut out circles.  I trace and cut out rain drops and flowers and more flowers and clovers, etc.  I tear out workbook sheets.  I volunteer for just about anything I can.  I tutor 2nd graders on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:30am .  Then again on that day…..tutor 3 and 4th graders from 3:30 to 4:30 pm.  I tutor kids every day from 8:30am to 3pm.

Today I was given an official 2nd notice that I lack professionalism.  Why?  Because I am too nice.  I like to talk to the people I work with :  staff and kids.  I like to engage with people.  Nice reason to put me on a 30 day probation huh?

Like I said….I love this job….I don’t like the “internal coach” I have to report to.  She drives me insane.  High strung and has too much on her plate already.  My feeling is that because she is a “reading specialist” and the Title 1 supervisor, that she scrutinizes teachers and us reading tutors because we are not up to her standards.  But that is just my thoughts.

I can’t express them anywhere but here.  I am choosing to stop talking when I am at work.  I will still engage with my students because I am helping them learn to excel in their reading.   But I will say nothing to anyone else.  It’s going to be hard as I usually speak my mind and now I can’t do that.  I guess school systems just don’t like people who stand up for themselves and speak out.   idk.

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