I really do love my job, but am hating that I cannot be myself there. I am not supposed to talk to other teachers because I am not a teacher. I am a reading tutor. I am not supposed to talk about myself to anyone. “It’s called professionalism” according to the school. I am the peon that does the grunt work for those teachers because I need the hours to complete my year as a tutor. So I trace and cut out circles. I trace and cut out rain drops and flowers and more flowers and clovers, etc. I tear out workbook sheets. I volunteer for just about anything I can. I tutor 2nd graders on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7:30am . Then again on that day…..tutor 3 and 4th graders from 3:30 to 4:30 pm. I tutor kids every day from 8:30am to 3pm.
Today I was given an official 2nd notice that I lack professionalism. Why? Because I am too nice. I like to talk to the people I work with : staff and kids. I like to engage with people. Nice reason to put me on a 30 day probation huh?
Like I said….I love this job….I don’t like the “internal coach” I have to report to. She drives me insane. High strung and has too much on her plate already. My feeling is that because she is a “reading specialist” and the Title 1 supervisor, that she scrutinizes teachers and us reading tutors because we are not up to her standards. But that is just my thoughts.
I can’t express them anywhere but here. I am choosing to stop talking when I am at work. I will still engage with my students because I am helping them learn to excel in their reading. But I will say nothing to anyone else. It’s going to be hard as I usually speak my mind and now I can’t do that. I guess school systems just don’t like people who stand up for themselves and speak out. idk.