Re-start – again…..

**I found this letter a couple of days ago – happy calorie counting!
______________________________________________________________
Dear Fat,

This is to inform you that your lease is coming to an end and that it is time for you to vacate the premises. We’ve had a long-term arrangement, you and I, even friendly at times, but all good things must come to an end, and it is now time for this working relationship to end.

You have brought neighborhood property values down, and have polluted the neighborhood for the last time! You are no longer wanted here and must leave.

Please pack up your bags and prepare to be evicted.

Sincerely Yours,

Management

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Ok.  time to get real serious again about this.  My stomach is killing me.  I called a bariatric doctor here in the Cities…St. Paul.  I need to get in to see one.  Before all that, I have to get all my records from Dr. LaMasters in De.s Moines where I had surgery done almost 2 years ago.  Wow.  2 years ago…Aug 11, 2011.  I had vertical gastric sleeve surgery.  I have lost a total of 107 pounds.  I have maintained that for the past year.  But, am or have been having some tummy problems for the past 6 months or so.  Some terrible acid reflux even though I take Nexium every day.  I feel like my digestion isn’t quite right.  So I am returning to protein shakes and small portions.  Going to try to see if I can get this controlled.  I will still go to this new doc and see what I can get done.

I totally bombed on my exercise.  I need to get with it.  I what happened my “give a damn busted”.  I have been so concerned with getting K in a good space and getting all that she needs in place, I forgot about me.  But she is doing well now.  Meds are working good.  She is having way less meltdowns and doing quite well actually.  School starts in about 3 1/2 weeks or so.  She is good.

Now to tackle me.  I am currently unemployed.  Which sucks.  Reading Corps was fun and challenging.  I love the kiddos I worked with dearly.  I will miss them.  But management sucked.  I will continue to support the AmeriCorps and MRC programs but not the immediate supervisors here in my town.  That was totally off topic.

Back to weight loss crap.  See how much I don’t like to talk about this now?  I am disgusted with myself once again.  I need to figure out what happened to me.  I lost myself.  I feel fat and flabby and out of control again.  I need the dedication to keep a food journal and be extremely honest.  I need someone to hold me absolutely accountable.  Even if I hate it….that is what I need.  Kick me in ass when I need it, even if I get pissed and they won’t take it personally. I need God to drop me a person to help me with this.  I want to get out of bed and not worry about getting to the YMCA to do water aerobics and work out.  No more excuses.  Kick my ass someone.  PLEASE!!!

Dammit I need to get out of this funk.

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