Life and Everyday

Redefine

For months I have been telling myself that I need to make some big changes in myself and the world around me. I’ve been thinking about a few things. I have totally feel off the wagon of my WLS. I have been eating junk for lack of better words. I haven’t been planning meals or drinking enough water. I haven’t been getting enough protein. I don’t exercise regularly. All these things add up to a lot of apathy on my part. I have had the “I don’t care” mentality. Problem is I do care. This stuff is in my head every day. Every night. I have stuff I want to do…. my want to needs to be bigger. My body also needs to physically heal.
I’m sick of the physical pain day in and day out. Be it my healing foot or my chronic pain in my low back. How do you keep moving and doing when you are exhausted from sun up to sun down? I’m trying to get into a new rheumy doc. I need one the will be very proactive and not afraid to search all avenues to figure out why my body is this way. I need some more definitive answers with some effective treatments.
I need to care more about myself. I seem to usually put K’s needs first. But I gotta take care of me too.
I know I need to address some of my eating issues now. I called the Emily Program once again. I want to go to the clinic in St. Paul. They have a few support groups I can attend too. Gotta figure something out.
My life is messy of sorts, but my mess is living and not hiding from the world or being so wrapped in something that I don’t see what is happening outside me. I keep living day to day, making mistakes and learning that this life and I’m still OK. I can’t live contained in the 4 walls. 

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