Life and Everyday

Health Stuff

My physical health is taking a toll…..I had an MRI this morning on my low back. I have something going on there..not sure what, but going from laying to sitting is nearly impossible. When I finally get up, walking is ok…it’s about the only time I don’t have intense pain. Will find out the results on that on Friday.

Then, I found out I have to have this cyst thing taken out of my knuckle on my right hand. That is scheduled for June 16. I just want to be healthy and be able to go and do with out hurting. I feel like eating the house because of the anxiety.

I got the nerve up to go back to the Emily Program.  I am meeting with a lady named Aimee.  Adam keeps telling me that I need to talk about my food issues and normal eating and how I feel about myself regarding my weight.  He told me I am in a good spot right now because I have a good handle on all the other stuff in my life.  I have this weight thing to figure out.  I think that I will see Adam just twice a month and then see Aimee every week.  The folks at the Emily Program want me to do intensive outpatient program.  I think that will be ok.  I hope that is runs in the morning and I will be able to get K by the time or before the time the Y Kids program is done.  Aimee also said that a support group would be very helpful as well.  I want to do this but I have to figure out how to deal with all the shame.  I know I have a hard time being honest about eating because of the shame.  I really don’t like this part of who I am.

I am ok with the rest of me.  But this issue….I just can’t accept.  I weighed myself earlier this week.  I have gained 5 pounds.  More shame and sadness.  Yeah  I need this.

Stupid body.

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2 thoughts on “Health Stuff”

  1. I’m sorry to read that you’re going through a rough patch. It won’t last, believe..do the work…and you will get better. Embrace what your body is telling you. I’ve learned that if we honor it, it will sustain you.

  2. Thanks. I know that weight issues are hard for those of us that have them. Facing the demons is difficult. Again thanks.

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