It’s 5:30 am and I am still awake. I can not sleep….yet again. This not sleeping thing is driving me nuts. K will be up in little bit…..we are supposed to be going to church at 10:30. I wonder if I can catch a few winks before we actually have to be there.
I had taken my usual meds. I usually wait awhile to see if they will kick in and make me tired. But tonight…I guess not. Shortly after midnight, I was feeling a lot of pain my back…so took a pain med. That should have made me tired too. But I here I am still awake. This sleeping thing is for the birds.
So, about a week ago I had a bilateral epidural done in my low back. It hurt some when they did the procedure but it actually wasn’t that bad. I have been feeling better or able to do more since then. I wake up or try to get up and I have a lot of stiffness in my low back and thighs. So I do my stretches and then get out of bed. Once I get moving around, it’s better. I have twinges of pain if I move wrong or step wrong. But at least now I can bend down and tie my shoes without so much pain that it brings tears.
I am so sick of pain. I know I live with this chronic pain and other invisible illnesses. If I listed them all, you would think I was crazy…..well more crazy then you already think I am. LOL The worst right now is the chronic pain and the lupus flare that is going on. It’s like my body is raging against me.
I will write more later on these invisible illnesses stuff.
In other news……I am taking K to camp today. She need to be there between 3pm and 5pm. I think we will leave around 2. It take a little over an hour or so to get there. It’s called Lake Wapogassett Bible Camp in Amery, WI. I am really excited for her to go. I always loved camp. I so want her to meet new friends and have a place where people will love on her unconditionally. She really needs that before the hectic weeks to come before school starts again. I think I will be the one with tears when I leave her there. She will be gone until Friday. I go pick her up after lunch. I think my mom might come with for the drive up to get her. Don’t know for sure yet.
Yup. God’s got this too. There is so much I need to remember when I am freaking out with health issues or having so much anxiety I can hardly breathe. I keep saying lately that I wish my faith was stronger. I do. I haven’t found my place yet. I haven’t found a home church yet. We are planning to go to Our Saviour’s Lutheran today. It’s one of the bigger Lutheran churches here. I read that during church some of the kids that went to Camp Wapo are going to talk about their experiences there. The church sent kids to camp a week ago, I guess. If we had been going to this church on a more regular basis, I think K would have been able to go with the kids from church. My goal is to start going weekly. To try to become involved more and get K in Sunday school and doing stuff with the youth. She will be in middle school this year and they do more stuff than when she was in elementary school.
Anyway, I need to keep writing….maybe it will help empty my mind so that sleep might come more easily.
The sun is rising. The sky is pretty this morning.
I hope you all rested well. ♥