I know, I know, the holidays are coming up quickly. I used to like them all at this time of year but have become more cynical, no that’s not the word I want to use. I am more and more hurt by the actions of my family of origin. When I was in my late teens and early 20’s, there seemed to be an unwritten rule in my house that bringing someone with for the holiday was ok and great. The more fellowship the merry. If someone has no place, bring them home with ya….mom and all of us will make the food that will fill the tummies of a lifetime.
Somewhere along the way that unwritten rule has gotten questioned and wrinkled up noses to me. I still have friends that don’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving let alone the Christmas season. The older I get, I am still a single person (well not right this moment) but was single with a kiddo, and me wanting to bring a friend or two with for the warmth and joy of good food and some fun, was certainly ok. But…….ok. I am now in a relationship. He is an amazing man. Sure he has his struggles, just any of the friends I brought to our house before. But he is my boyfriend and I want him to be around for longer than just a few months. I can see me and K getting used to him being around for awhile.
When I asked mom if it was ok if I bright Robert along for Christmas, I got the hem haw. I told her that she was going to have to get used to him and me because we are together. He loves K. He is very good with her, for her. I know he cares about me as well. I know that we have fun together, even quiet times, that are comfortable and crazy times, where he continues to tell me to breathe or take one thing at a time. But come back to my mom…..what happened to the open door policy for those who have no where to go or no one to be with? Did that go out the door when dad died too? There seems a whole lot of things that flew out the door when dad passed. It’s just not fun like it used to be. It’s like things are strained and my brother and sister and their families and my mom and probably me too, struggle to find a commonality that we can just talk about together. Bringing up anything that has to do with mental health or chronic pain, is a NO NO. We just on’t talk about that stuff anymore. No one cares. Except for me. I miss that.
Robert is coming to the Olson Crhistmas this weekend and he will be coming to Thanksgiving if there is one planned. If not, we will cook up a storm here, making Thanksgiving here with just him and me and K. That is just as good.
We will see.