I have learned that life is about choices. So many, that I have lost count. Choosing the make the best choice you can is sometimes really difficult….at least sometimes it is for me. I have been trying to teach K about making good choices. Being 8 years old, it’s really hard for her to make good ones, most days. Then there are some days she makes the absolute best choices ever and has a superb day. Those days we celebrate. On the others, we still celebrate the good choices she has made but talk about the others that could have been better. We talk about what other things she could have done instead. I hope this is helping her to know that good choices lead to good feelings and good things.
I realize there are also some things we have no control over. Some choices we can’t make as they are pretty much already made. Like where you were born, the family you grew up in, the rules made by the police (thought technically you could break them too).
I have found though, that there are some choices that you do have control over in your life time.
1. The Choice to Learn
Learning is a choice you make consciously or unconsciously. You can consciously go to college or return to college ( like I am doing right now). You learn while you are at doctor appointments, conversing with friends, reflection of your day, etc. You can choose to ignore these learning experiences or not.
2. Choices in and around Relationships
You can choose who you want to remain in a relationship with, whether a friendship or romantic relationship. Some relationships like with family, you can’t really choose who they are, but you can choose your interactions with them. For example, my sister and I don’t get along the greatest. I am not really sure why as we have never really talked about it much. For me, I chose to be polite and responsive when she is around. She will choose to react however she does. Sometimes it really makes me angry that we are not close as I wish we could be, but I have come realize that is HER choice now. I have made my thoughts known, it’s up to her what she wants.
3. Choices in regards to your personal health
I have chosen to take control in my personal health in the past year. I know that my lifestyle has been unhealthy for years. So, I have taken the reigns and I exercise almost daily. I choose to swim as it is the easiest on my joints (which I have major issues with). I also have made better decisions to be pro-active in relation to my fibromylgia and chronic pain issues. I also am aware that I need to watch my blood levels after having VSG surgery. I am taking much better care of myself. This has had many many positive results: weight loss, better stamina, less brain fog, more strength, and more knowledge of how this helps in my relationships with others.
4. The Choice where I choose to live/reside
I have been moving around most of my life. Trying to “escape” myself for years. “Where ever you go, there you are.” You can not escape yourself. You will always be with yourself. I choose to live a ways away from my immediate family due to much drama that happens where they live. I have enough in my life, I don’t want to be sucked into theirs. I also have chosen to move to a community where there is a lot of access to parks and recreation. I love to be outside. I chose this community because K needs a healthy environment to grow up in. It’s a larger community than she is used to, but I believe that she will thrive here too. We will make connections with other people who will have common interests. Choosing where to live is about just that….finding a connection.
5. Choice in what your priorities are
Recently I have had to revisit my priorities. K will be moving back home with me in a matter of weeks. I haven’t had to be totally responsible for her for awhile. Now when she is home with me, she is my top priority. Although, my life and health are also a priority. I need to take care of me in order to take care of her.
6. Choice in my spiritual journey
I have been having some problems in this area. I am proud to say that I am a Christian. I have some friends who are radical Christians and some that are not so much. This causes some dissent in me. I am more middle of the road. I have my values and beliefs and morals. I grew up in the Lutheran church. I still have some of those traditional values too. But for me, I chose to be open minded and look at my spirituality from all sides. I use what works for me and put aside the rest. I respect my friends thoughts and practices too.
7. The choice to value myself
This has been the most life changing choice I have made thus far in my life. I didn’t used to value who I was when I was younger. I didn’t really care all that much if people hurt and abused me. As I have grown up, I see how that has shaped me, who I am. I realize I have rights and responsibilities to myself and my family. I value who I am. I value all that I am and all that I want to be. I do not put myself in situations that could possibly harm me or those around me. I am worth so much more than that. So are YOU!!!! My confidence level has increased about 10 fold. I believe in myself more. Yes, some days, I have my doubts and fears. All people do. But for the most part, I believe that I am a good person. Worthy of good things.
8. The Choice to not Chose
There is always the choice to not choose to do anything. The choice not to make a choice in any of the above or any other key aspect of your life is again a choice that has the potential to transform your life…