Monday, Monday

Good Morning.  I don’t usually blog in the morning, but today I am just going to try something different.

After spending a fair amount of time feeling sorry for myself, for reasons that are just about what I think I need, I am starting this day with a newer vision.  I realize that people are fallible.  I sure am.  I make mistakes.  Sometimes unknowingly and sometimes not.  I can apologize when the reality smacks me square in the face.  But moving forward instead being held back by my unwanting to come to terms of what is.

People change.  Situations change.  Sometimes my “old” brain struggles to keep up.  But, it’s a new week.  I have a whole 7 more days of living differently this week.  Tonight I am meeting up with an old friend.  I am sure we will have lots of laughs, maybe tears, who knows.  What I do know is that being with old friends remind me of how far I have come.  I will relish in the changes I have made along with the changes of my friend.  Life isn’t meant to be alone.

This week’s message at http://live.lifechurch.tv is about “Two-Gather”.  The message is all about having the right people around us. This is an important biblical principle for all of us, but it’s especially important for new believers. New believers need to be surrounded by Christians who can encourage and support them in the life-changes they’re making to follow Christ. Life is best done in community.  ‎”For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them. Matthew 18:20 NLT

Today, I am doing life together.  With fellow students in class, with old friends and new.  We weren’t meant to be alone.

I challenge you today to share with someone your life.  Be it a friend, neighbor, co-worker.  Smile, talk, have a coffee together.  That is what life is all about.  I am with YOU heart and soul!!

“The continual awareness of what was going on made me feel ashamed I wasn’t saying anything. I burst out because I could no longer play that game any more, it was just too much for me.”
John Lennon

(oh btw…weight loss this morning…another 3 pounds!!  woohoo!!)

 

AJ, me, Danny, Karen

friends together…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Busy Day

Today I saw my family practice doc, well his PA.  She was happy that I am doing so well this early after the surgery.  The nurse I had was also telling me about her brother who had this surgery about 6 months ago and has lost nearly 200 lbs.  A.MA.ZING!!!  I am so excited at the possibilities.  It’s hard to imagine that I could be 100 pounds lighter in just a few more months.  I don’t really “feel” any different now.  I have noticed though, I am able to sit in some armed chairs and be comfortable and not squished.  So cool.  I look in the mirror and don’t see a lot of changes yet.  But I know it will come.

I had a lot of blood work done today and it all came back good but my iron is still borderline low.  So gotta keep on top of that.

I have been trying to stay really positive lately.  Keep reminding myself that I am one of God’s children and deserve to feel good.  He has done some pretty awesome things in my life in the last year.  I have some wonderful and supportive friends.  My mom and I are closer than we have ever been.  I started back at UNI with classes that are going to be so awesome. (well lots of work but awesome none the less).  I have just had lots of opportunities open up to me this year.  It’s August and I have so much to be thankful for.

One thing I have learned is Christianity is like this weight loss stuff.  It’s a whole lifestyle change.  Finding God is an invitation to find life.  Just as this surgery is giving me an opportunity to find a different life.  Except this invitation is about a relationship with Christ.  It’s not religion.  It’s a relationship.  Christ overcame so much pain in the world.  This relationship with Christ is not easy.  It doesn’t come without pain and some suffering too.  It does give you a purpose and meaning in a world of confusion and darkness.  It is real.  Christ is real.

God is calling me to do some pretty bold things these days.  I am speaking boldly, acting boldly for myself and for Christ.  God really does heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).  I was one of those brokenhearted people.  He has given me life.  A life like I have never know before.  Found this quote this morning: Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.  I am not going to let anything stop me from believing and doing what my heart is telling me to do and be.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21    17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.  21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 30

Day 30: A picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I can’t believe this is the last day of this challenge.  It has really helped me to think about some things that I haven’t really given thought to for a very long time.  So here are the 5 good things that have happened since starting this challenge:

1.  I have gained more confidence in what I write and think and say.

2.  Reading people’s comments has been very inspiring.  New friends and old friends.

3.  The mess with Iowa Medicaid and payment for Bariatric surgery has been overturned.

4.  I had my VSG surgery done.

5.  Classes have started at UNI, and so far so good.

This is a picture of me from Monday, August 22, 2011.  1st Day of classes at UNI.

 

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 24

Day 24: Something you’ve learned.

 

I have learned so much in the past 40 years.  It’s hard to narrow it down to just something to interesting to write here.  I came across a quote this morning that really sums up how I am feeling about life at the moment.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them -Grey’s Anatomy

Boundaries.  Something that has been nailed into my head since the beginning of “therapy time”.  I have been told I need boundaries.  Of course I do.  I see my boundaries now as my set of values and morals.  Though most of my life I have been setting some mental and physical boundaries to keep people out of my life.  I don’t want to get hurt again.  This past year has been a series of breaking those boundaries that I have set up.  If I keep setting up these walls (boundaries) to not get hurt, then what am I learning?  To be alone? To not live?  To not learn?  

Life is messy.  I want to learn how to deal with the ups and downs.  I want to challenge myself to stretch out beyond the walls that were once there.  I still have a few walls.  I need them.  But I won’t let them fence me in anymore.  I need to live.  I need that challenge of figuring out how to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart.  And I am.  I can’t tie life up into one neat little package with a pretty bow.  I don’t think I want to.

My life is a journey with many twists and turns.  I stumble, I fall, but as Toby Mac says “Get back up again”.  🙂

There have a been a few thing happen this week that seems out of control but you know what, they are not out of control….they are in God’s control.  I don’t feel wrecked about it.  I just know, God’s got it.  If it’s meant to be worked out it will and if not, well, the ride was well  worth it.  I loved the ride but it’s time to get on another and see where it will take me.

http://youtu.be/MX5OqyBYKh4

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 16 and more

Day 16: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it.

Oh my my!!  How appropriate subject for today.  I will be having the gastric sleeve surgery this coming Thursday.  So my opinion of my body is changing as I type.  I am on a full liquid diet today.  I stomached my first protein shake.  It was vanilla mixed with skim milk.  The first few sips were ok but by the time I was near the end….whoa.  NOT what I was expecting.  It was hard to get it all down.  I think next time, I will mix it with some fresh fruit…blend it up, add some ice, and try a slush.  I hope that will be better.

I have these bumps and curves that are in places they shouldn’t be.  Last year I had a breast reduction due to inflamed fibroids.  So, that was taken care of nicely.  Now to get my body in that shape. I have managed to lose close to 20 pounds since starting this journey this past February.  That is pretty decent for me.

Today, I signed up for Aquatic Zumba and a meditation awareness series for this semester here at the U.  The zumba stuff starts the first part of September.  Well, actually I think it starts Aug 29, but I won’t be cleared to start until the next week.  The meditation series is in October.   I am excited about both.  I thought about taking a yoga class…but I don’t want to push it too much right after surgery.

Classes begin Aug 22.  I have the week before (wait, that is next week) to rest up and recover.  Oh wow…it’s coming so quickly.  K starts school on the 15th.  I talked to her last night on the phone and asked who her teacher was this year.  “It’s a boy” she said.  I just had to chuckle.  My good friend is the other 2nd grade teacher.  I hope it’s a good year for her…with “the boy” teacher.  🙂

Today is my last day at work.  I am sitting her in the office with not much going on.  Both deans are in today.  So it’s still pretty quiet.  They both had vacation last week.  Back to the grind.  I wonder what they will have for me when classes start?  I know I have a huge mailing that will need to be done sometime in October and November for all the alums from UNI.  I did that last year.  Not a problem.

As for this 30 day blog series, I might have to miss Thursdays.  Or maybe Karen will type it out for me as I lay in bed at the hospital.  LOL  We’ll see.  Transformation begins today.  I really do like myself today and most days as well.  Life has turned around for me in the past year.  It’s been an amazing year.  Even if I didn’t marry the man who was supposed to be the man of my dreams.  (poor him).  Being single isn’t too bad.  I have a great group of friends and a wonderful family.  Support is something I am not used to, but I sure like it.  Feels great to be loved.

Carry on….this blog is done.  Enjoy your day!!

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 14

Day 14: A picture of you last year – how have you changed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was actually taken in September of last year at Katey’s 7th birthday.  I don’t think I look a whole lot different.  Katey has grown since then.

I have changed in ways that I didn’t think I would.  I have become stronger and more confident in myself.  I think that I am more happy and content with my life.  I still love my daughter very much, even though she still isn’t with me all the time.  I am embarking on my last year at UNI.  This will continue to change this next year.  I plan for all good things.  I know there will be bumps along the way, but I won’t let them get me down.

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 13

Day 13: Goals.

Goals are something I haven’t often set.  I used think that it was always something looming out there that I could never attain, so why set them?  But in the past year, I have become more aware that setting goals is something that I need to do.  So, I have lightened up my expectations of myself and set a few.  I am sure there will be more along the ways of this journey.

1. Graduate from UNI in May

2.  Find an awesome job that I really enjoy.

3.  Continue on my weight loss journey…..it’s happening!!

4.  Share and show God’s love to people that I meet.