I went to therapy again to talk with Adam today. We talked about K mostly. About the fact she asked about her father again. She asked me last night if I had a picture of him. I don’t know if I do or not. I know I have seen one around here somewhere in a box or something. I told Adam that I wasn’t sure I wanted to show it to her yet. But he said that maybe I should. Why? I don’t want to hurt her. But I know she has that right to know what he looks like. she has that right to know the good qualities he has too. Adam and I talked about that also. Besides all the crap that he had done to me and then leaving me before she was even born…..he does/did have some great qualities about him, otherwise I would have never been with him in the first place. I did love him at one time in my life. It does make me really sad that he doesn’t and hasn’t ever seen her or had anything to do with her. She doesn’t even know him at all. I can’t imagine what kind of pain that is for her.
My dad passed away when I was 30. I knew my dad. I mean, I grew up, knowing my dad and what he was like and who he was and is and what he liked and didn’t like….I still remember….even 13 year later. And I miss him.
I guess i need to look for that picture. And ask a few of my old friends if they have a picture of him and me together when we lived back in that area in Iowa. There were good days.