Life and Everyday

Happy Labor Day!

This day is just about come to an end.  I got home shortly after supper time.  I have been trying to catch up on homework, facebook, emails, etc.  It’s just weird how much I have missed with being gone for four days.

Spent the weekend with K and my mom.  Tiny was there too.  He was grumpy.  So I won’t count him.  I played lots of cribbage and ate way too much for not being able to eat much anyways.  Weird eating this weekend.  My mom can cook/bake like nobody’s business.  It’s hard to eat healthy when she’s around.  K went swimming.  Was too cold for this old body.  So had fun just watching her.  It rained up in Minnesota for a couple days.  Playing go fish and watching movies was a blast too.  K thinks she can play cribbage, but she just likes to count by ten and 5’s.  it’s so cute.

I had to have a roasted/toasted marshmallow….couldn’t pass up that on a camping trip!!  It didn’t settle real well in the tummy tho.  I think if I ate too much sugary type stuff…it went right through me.  So, not gonna do much of that.  Luckily I like the veggies mom put on the grill….LOVED THAT!!  Even though it was very chilly at night up there, I loved snuggling with K.   Mom tried so hard this weekend to make it so good, Tiny was in a crabby mood and then J came with E and J.  Mom got upset.  It was like everyone seemed in the way this weekend at times.  I wanted to help her as much as I could, but she would tell me to just sit down, blah blah blah.

Overall, we all had a good weekend.  Despite not having “gas” this morning for the water heater and the stove. I drank coffee this morning to stay warm.  Grabbed a blanket and snuggled with K while watching morning cartoons.  Good bonding time.  Mom and I had some good bonding time too.

My niece had her baby on Friday too.  His name is Emerson James.  He is a real cutie.  looks just like his big sister.  I have a picture of him…..I don’t know if I have one of J tho??  hmmmm

Isn’t he a sweetie pie?  I hope to get up there again to meet him.  Maybe on K’s birthday weekend.  Who knows if they will come.  Since I am the horrible person B’s mother says I am.  Whatever.  LOL  I take it with a grain of salt.  I know who my friends are and I know that my nieces and nephews like me for the most part.  J (my sister) and her family can hate me or hate mom or hate K, but that will be and always be their loss.  I know I am not perfect, I make mistakes just like the rest of the world.  But I am willing to take responsibility for mine.  Just sayin.

Anyways, welcome to the world, my great nephew EJB.  You will be loved up like all the rest !! *smiles*  I love you even tho you don’t know me yet, little man.  I will always love you EJ!!

All sorts of things running through my head at the moment.  So will have to try to gather more thoughts before tomorrow and write something a little more sensible.


Life and Everyday

Say “I’m sorry”

I woke up this morning and the first words out of my mouth was, “I’m sorry”.  It’s been kind of weird morning.  Saying “I’m sorry”., is more than just words.  It’s about doing something where you have wronged someone.  I sometimes think I am doing the right thing, but then ends up not so much.  Reminds me of the verse from Ephesians 4:32 – 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Sometimes I wonder about the things I say.  Does it really make a difference?  I have to say yes.  Never before have I been as bold as I am now.  This is not to say that I don’t mis-speak many times, but I am feeling more.  A while ago during the healing process and many times of thinking, I realized that I won’t apologize anymore for how I feel.  Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are.  Not good or bad either.  Now when I talk about how I feel and blow up and hurt someone, that is not right and I will apologize for how I said whatever it was I said.  That’s called life.

My heart is open to the opinions of others.  It’s doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything but I will acknowledge what is being said.

Something has happened inside my heart.  God has opened me to the realm of possibilities.  I wonder what God has in store for me.  I look ahead a bit and see graduation from UNI.  What’s next?  I’m not sure.  God has opened doors that I never thought I would have the opportunity to even fathom the idea.  But He has.  Sometimes I wish He didn’t trust me so much.

‎~One Day at a Time~

Whatever the goal we’re pursuing,
no matter how rugged the climb,
we’re certain to get there
by trying our best,
and taking One Day At A Time.

“Forever” is hard to imagine,
“the future” may seem far away-
but every new dawn
brings a wonderful chance
to do what we can on that day.

~Emily Matthews

(thanks Trey for a beautiful picture)

Life and Everyday

Busy Day

Today I saw my family practice doc, well his PA.  She was happy that I am doing so well this early after the surgery.  The nurse I had was also telling me about her brother who had this surgery about 6 months ago and has lost nearly 200 lbs.  A.MA.ZING!!!  I am so excited at the possibilities.  It’s hard to imagine that I could be 100 pounds lighter in just a few more months.  I don’t really “feel” any different now.  I have noticed though, I am able to sit in some armed chairs and be comfortable and not squished.  So cool.  I look in the mirror and don’t see a lot of changes yet.  But I know it will come.

I had a lot of blood work done today and it all came back good but my iron is still borderline low.  So gotta keep on top of that.

I have been trying to stay really positive lately.  Keep reminding myself that I am one of God’s children and deserve to feel good.  He has done some pretty awesome things in my life in the last year.  I have some wonderful and supportive friends.  My mom and I are closer than we have ever been.  I started back at UNI with classes that are going to be so awesome. (well lots of work but awesome none the less).  I have just had lots of opportunities open up to me this year.  It’s August and I have so much to be thankful for.

One thing I have learned is Christianity is like this weight loss stuff.  It’s a whole lifestyle change.  Finding God is an invitation to find life.  Just as this surgery is giving me an opportunity to find a different life.  Except this invitation is about a relationship with Christ.  It’s not religion.  It’s a relationship.  Christ overcame so much pain in the world.  This relationship with Christ is not easy.  It doesn’t come without pain and some suffering too.  It does give you a purpose and meaning in a world of confusion and darkness.  It is real.  Christ is real.

God is calling me to do some pretty bold things these days.  I am speaking boldly, acting boldly for myself and for Christ.  God really does heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3).  I was one of those brokenhearted people.  He has given me life.  A life like I have never know before.  Found this quote this morning: Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.  I am not going to let anything stop me from believing and doing what my heart is telling me to do and be.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21    17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.  21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Life and Everyday

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 30

Day 30: A picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I can’t believe this is the last day of this challenge.  It has really helped me to think about some things that I haven’t really given thought to for a very long time.  So here are the 5 good things that have happened since starting this challenge:

1.  I have gained more confidence in what I write and think and say.

2.  Reading people’s comments has been very inspiring.  New friends and old friends.

3.  The mess with Iowa Medicaid and payment for Bariatric surgery has been overturned.

4.  I had my VSG surgery done.

5.  Classes have started at UNI, and so far so good.

This is a picture of me from Monday, August 22, 2011.  1st Day of classes at UNI.


Life and Everyday

Beginnings, Endings and Everything In Between

I know I have blogged earlier about a man named Dr. Henry Cloud who wrote a book called “Necessary Endings”.  I believe I shared a video of him talking on that subject as well.  What an awesome message he has to share.

The summer is ending here.  K will start back to school next week.  A new teacher, a handful of new kids, new shoes, and I am sure lots of new stories to tell.  I, too, will be returning to classes in another week.  This is my last year at UNI.  I received all my textbooks that I have ordered from amazon, except for one, which was sent in the wrong edition.  Otherwise I am ready.

I am post op 5 days now.  I am feeling really good.  At times, I get pangs of pain, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle.  I have found that crying hurts and laughing hurts too.  I didn’t realize that so many stomach muscles were involved in the two actions.  I’d much rather laugh tho.  I have cried a few times already due to things beyond my control.  I have found that stress/anxiety is not good for me right now.  It makes the stomach muscles tight and achy.  It’s hard to breathe too.  I have vowed to breathe through whatever comes up right now.  Let me tell you….I certainly know how to breathe.   I wish I could avoid anxiety and stress in general until the healing was more done (not the proper way to say it).  But, to no avail, stress and anxiety are rampant in my life once again.

While I was listening to Dr. Cloud last night, I realized that there are definitely some necessary endings that need to take place in my life.  First and foremost, the way that I eat.  I need to eat for healthy reasons not to stop or stuff a feeling.  I have done really well in that area the past 6-8 months.  But struggling over things with a friend of mine, I find that I want to snack more.  I can’t do that now either.  I know I will get sick.  So instead, I am dealing with the emotions and everything that comes with it now.  It’s not so bad getting right down to it.  It just means I have to be bold in my actions and words.  No half-way about it.

Dr. Cloud mentioned that it takes courage to end stuff.  God will open something up next and it will blow your mind.  He is so right!!  I am using my courage to step out of a hurtful situation, friendship.  Things were said and done on both our parts that should have never happened.  But the truth of the matter is, I feel like I was naive in thinking that someone would not take advantage of me. Especially when this person claimed to be my best friend.  I believe things have been happening over the past year and half or maybe longer.  I trusted her, she broke that trust and I didn’t find out until just a few days ago.  Long story short, this friendship is now her choice to deal with.  I know where I stand and what I want to do.  I am living it.  I will not “beat her over the head” with it, I just am weary of ever being so trusting.  I believe this says more about her than it does about me.

God has bigger plans for me.  I feel it and I see it.  My God is supernatural.  God is alive and He is listening to my thoughts.  I know that if I keep believing that He is my Creator, I can let go of my way of doing things.  He is the creator of my tomorrows.  I know He will take care of whatever is coming next.  As a few of my friends say, “He’s got this one, just like the last one.”

Both beginnings and endings are hard.  Heck, even the in between times are difficult.  But I trust in God and my friends and family.  I know who loves and cares for me.  That is most important.

Life and Everyday

30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 21

Day 21: Something you’re proud of.

I don’t usually think much about the things I am proud of.  I don’t want people to think that I am “better” than them or whatever.  But I have been thinking about this, it really is ok to be proud of your own accomplishments and to let people know about them.  I know this person who thinks it’s absolutely horrible of me to say anything positive about myself.  I am not sure why he feels that way, he just hates it when I share my accomplishments.

One of the things I am most proud of right now is that I have gone through with the gastric sleeve surgery.  I know the road ahead of me isn’t going to be easy.  I feel that already.  But, this is an amazing step in making myself realize how much I need to be “here” for my daughter, my family, and my friends.  I want to be healthy and able to run and play without all the painful joints/painful back, being out of breath, etc.  I am willing to give up all those foods that got me to where I am now.  Pizza sounds really delish right now, but I know I can’t have that now.  I will eventually, but just not at this moment.  That is how it is with a lot of food right now.  I am on the full liquid diet, so everything has to go down liquid-y.

Another things I am proud of at this moment is that I am almost finished with my classes at UNI.  Two semesters to go, I will be a graduate.  I have worked hard to get where I am right now.  I know I will continue to do so.

Being proud of yourself for your accomplishments isn’t something that should be put down by other people.  Maybe it’s jealousy or the mire fact that they don’t understand.

I am happy with what I am doing, the accomplishments made, and what the future may hold for me.  I am excited as there will be new beginnings coming as well.


Life and Everyday

Being Bold

For some people being bold is a hair style, “loud” clothing, driving a nice sports car, or even standing up for something you whole-heartily believe in.  I am doing more of the latter these days.

This weeks in the series BOLD at , Pastor Craig is talking about praying bold prayers.  There is nothing that my God can not handle.  I believe that God can heal me.  I believe that God can heal you as well.

What you pray for often reflects what you believe about God.  I have been praying small prayers.  God, help me get through this day, again.  God, please help me to have the energy to get all that I need to get done, done.  God, watch over my daughter. Let her listen to her grandma today.

While those prayers are good, I have decided that I need to be more bold in what I pray for.  I have seen God do amazing things.  He has brought a friend who was pronounced dead, back to life.  GOD is BOLD.  The least I can do for Him is be BOLD for Him.

On their release, Peter and John went back to their own people and reported all that the chief priests and elders had said to them. 24 When they heard this, they raised their voices together in prayer to God. Acts 4:23-24

“Sovereign Lord,” they said, “you made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and everything in them. 25 You spoke by the Holy Spirit…27 Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. 28 They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Acts 4:24-25; 27-28

As I being to pray for more BOLDNESS, I want to pray for more MIRACLES to happen.  I believe this can happen to anyone, anywhere.

Stand up for what you believe in, help those who need your help.  You can make a difference.  I am taking up this challenge, won’t you?