Life and Everyday

small things, Big Difference – One Word 2015

I do not like resolutions and or huge goals….why? Because I feel like I will fail before I even start. So, while listening to Pastor Craig Groeschel speak in this video “small things, Big Difference”, I have learned that I need to figure out “what do I want most over what I want now?” (good question, eh?) 1 Cor 9:24-27 (go read it), we are running to WIN!!! *the Eternal Prize*.  We need to run with purpose. So….What do YOU want most??? YOU! Yes YOU!!

  1. One Word: Small beginnings
  2. My One Discipline: thoughts, think on these things. A sentence, Bible verse(s), something to help you remember your ONE WORD
  3. Build others up: Use Godly words. The power of God’s disciple, being faithful in the small things. Seeing the small things that maybe no one else sees. Power verses to remind you of God’s work in you.

Seek small things
Seek discipline
Seek God for One Disciple
Use that forward momentum
Have an impact in this world!!!

2015:

My one word for this coming year is JOY.

The reason I chose this word is because in 2014, I hadn’t felt much joy.  I had a very hard time finding much joy.  It wasn’t that I was sad all the time, I just didn’t feel content.  My head was constantly going with all the things I thought I “had” to do.  In the meantime, I had numerous people ask me, “what brings you joy, Julie?” After thinking on this question for quite some time, I couldn’t even come up with a list on one hand. Then I did some praying and meditation, JOY was the first word that popped into my head. I will be working hard incorporating more joy into my life, in all areas: relationships (family, friends, professional contacts, etc), college, and my college work, volunteering, writing, looking for work, and my adventure in locating new housing.  I will attempt to find joy in just about anything and anyone I come into contact with.  I have my small notebook ready to go.

My power verses:    I want to memorize these.

Psalm 98:4 (NIRV) Shout to the Lord with joy, everyone on earth. Burst into joyful songs and make music.
Philippians 4:4 (NIRV) Always be joyful because you belong to the Lord. I will say it again. Be joyful.
Psalm 86:4 (NIRV) Bring joy to me. Lord, I worship you.
John 15:11 (NIRV) I have told you this so that my joy will be in you. I also want your joy to be complete.
Psalm 94:19 (NIRV) I was very worried. But your comfort brought joy to my heart.
2 Timothy 1:4 (NIRV) I remember your tears. I long to see you so that I can be filled with joy.

joy-wordle2

Cloud 1

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Life and Everyday

A New Christmas 2012

After spending the last fifteen or sixteen years being a bit of a Scrooge from November 25 though December 25, this year feels totally different. And of course, it’s all because of K and all this healing that has taken place in my life.christmas_carol_m

For the first time ever in my adult life, it is December 15th and my Christmas tree is decorated (albeit with a lighting scheme that wouldn’t be my first choice if it wasn’t for a certain 9-year-old), most if not all of my Christmas shopping & Christmas cards are done, and I have actully had time to watch some Christmas “old time” shows like “Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer”, and Frosty the Snowman.  Even a few new one’s like “Hoops and YoYo Ruin Christmas” and “Taking Flight”.  Last night K and I watched Disney’s “Scrooge” (not sure of the actual name” but it was pretty good).  I have been listning to Chrismtas musick a lot too.  Although, I have to say in light of yesterday, I am not much in the music of Christmas.  More in the meanings behing some general contemporary Christain music that makes sense for this time.

Not that the holidays aren’t overcome with headaches & challenges in addition to all of this overflowing Christmas cheer. One of the big points is sll the felt expectations from family and even some friends.  My head is spinning with all the things I “need” to have done.  Today is the Olson Christmas in Carpenter, Iowa.  You know, that itty bitty town that has the community center and about 50 people living in that town?  Well, yeah.  That is where we meet up.  To make matters worse….it’s RAINING.  Raining in Minnesota today.  I just hope the  drive south is now slick and we can make it there with no seeing my car in the ditch somewhere. christmas-cute-dear-santa-happiness-nice-Favim.com-133413

I have most of the things done and ready for today.  Goodies baked and ready to plate up.  The cheesy hashbrown taters ready to put in the oven to bake for an hour before we actually leave.  The famous cheeseball and crackers.  The dirty bingo gifts.  A couple other gifts for some folks.  Christmas cards for the family.  The thing missing…..my dad.  It’s been 12 years since he left this world.  But his brothers and sister and all us cousins still get together to celebrate this time of year.  This side of the family is the best.   We all get along great.  We laugh and have fun.  Take silly pictures.  Play board games, card games, eat way too much food.  We just are a happy extending family….without my dad.  We all miss him so much.  when I see my uncles, I see my dad.  When I see my cousin’s little 2 year old boy…I see my grandpa.  He is a spitting image if my grandpa.

Christmas2But for every happy step forward that has been taken this year.  K coming home forever to live, my mental health staying fairly stable, a new job that I love,  living in a spectacular old river town….life is pretty good.  Sometimes I seem to lose sight of all the good things and stress about all the stuff that doesn’t really matter that much.  You know:  the perfect gifts for everyone that we buy for, pretty desserts and goodies, nice clothes to wear, painted finernails, hair just so, etc etc.  BUT…the real reason for Christmas…..Jesus was Born.  Jesus was born to give us life.  Our life.  He was born in a stable.  A crappy little place because no one would let Mary and Joseph have a good roof over their heads.  But this crappy stable became life for Him, for all of us.  Still the shepards came. Still the angels came.  Still the Wisemen came.  Still…..He was most loved.  He is my Savior.  He is my life.  He is brought me out of my pit.  I have the most fantastic friends and family because of this baby boy born so many years ago.

Going to do a plug for one of my favorite churches on earth.  LifeChurch.tv.  Pastor Craig Groeshel will be preaching an awesome message.  EXPERIENCE: We will begin showing the Christmas experience Friday Dec 21 at 11 AM CT, and we will not switch to the next week’s experience until Saturday Dec 29 at 6:30 PM CT. See the full list at http://www.lifechurch.tv/christmas .

christmas 2012 LC

Since my greatest Christmas wish has already been granted, it’s hard to imagine asking for anything else. But if I did, my wish for this year would be for mydaughter to know that she is loved, that she is precious, and that she isn’t going anywhere! (without me, that is).

Christmas Art

Life and Everyday

My plate is full

I feel like this past week I have been going non stop.  VBS all week, every morning.  Add a few major storms in there.  Weather has been weird.  Add a lot of pain from fibro and arthritis and lupus.  Doctor appointments, therapy, PT, K stuff and entertaining.  I am so trying to figure out a schedule for us.  This was NOT the week to do it.

With that said, we head back to Iowa tomorrow.  K can not eat or drink anything past midnight.  She needs to be at the hospital by 7:30am Monday morning.  Surgery is at 8:30am.  She is finally getting her tonsils out.  They are also going to get that hardened wax and crud out of her ears.  So she is going to be a sore and hurting little girl after this is all done.  A few weeks of recovery.  What makes this difficult is that I need to be back up here in MN Tuesday morning by 10 am.  My last week of classes is this next week.  I have to finish up a couple papers.  One needs to be turned in by tomorrow evening.  I will be working on that tomorrow before we leave and have it posted in by that time.  I have done my DQ and responses.  So that is good to go.

There is much unpacking and putting away to do also.  Little by little it’s getting done but I don’t feel like it’s good enough yet.  I need to do more.  I hate it when I say it, feel it.  I know it doesn’t have to be perfect.  in my head i know this.  But trying to get my heart to understand is another story.

Add my eating and weight loss too.  I have totally fallen off the wagon on this.  I haven’t gained or lost.  But I know what I am doing is not good for.  I am getting back into old patterns.  I need to refocus.  I need to get to the new doctor and clinic that will follow up and help me.  The U of M just isn’t cutting it for me.  They offer no support…just a 3 month visit.  I need more.

I feel so selfish writing about all these NEEDS.  I know take it to God.  I know He can cover me with this.  I keep taking them back once I give them over.  It’s so hard to just let HIM handle my worry and anxiety.  LifeChurch message this week is the last in the series on Seeing from a different Perspective.  New Perspective on Worry.  I so needed to hear that message tonight.  Gotta listen to it again and let it sink in.

Trying to be mindful.  Trying to bring back in skills I have learned.  Trying and trying and trying………

So much self doubt.  Anxiety  Worry Fear

FEAR!!!!

another topic for writing next time.

Pray for peace in my heart.  Peace in my life.  Peace for K and my mom.

Life and Everyday

Moving Day (again)

I am so sick of moving.  I know this won’t be the last, but I hope to stay at Robins for a long while, while getting myself together and figuring out what is next for me and K.

This move has started out wrong from the get go.  the Uhaul place got the wrong truck for me to drive.  It’s way small compared to the 17′ one that I was supposed to drive.  So, my friends got as much as they could packed into the truck.  But still have stuff in here that needs to be moved.  My car is packed too.  I hope to have more room in my trunk for the rest of it too.  Mom and Tiny will be here in a little bit with the van.  all the seats fold down all the way to the front 2 bucket seats.  So, I pray and hope that they all fit.  I am also hoping Tiny will let me take the van to Woodbury with all my crap in it to go to Robins.  I have way more stuff than I thought I would.  But, I don’t know.  Why things are going they way they are.  Is God testing me?  I have been puking off and on since about 3am.  I feel like crap.  I took my meds this morning.  They stayed down.  I took a pain med for the knee.  That stayed down as well.  So maybe I am on an upswing?

K will be with me and Robin until Monday.  I do hope that it goes smoothly there too.  Would be so much easier if she would just come next weekend, but I haven’t gotten to spend much time with her during her break.  I feel for her.

I wonder what God has planned for me in these next few months.  Need to find an orthopedic doc first off and physical therapy.  I need my body to get better so that I can move and do all the things I want and need to do.  I want to contact my friend at the parks and rec dept and see about working part time in the office for a bit.  So that is next on the list of to-do’s.

While talking with a few friends at LifeChurch…they are going to be doing a fast in January.  I don’t really understand all the ins and outs of a fast, but I want to learn and I think I want to do this also.  clean start for 2012.  Clear my head and mind and heart for a new year.  I will need to do some reading and praying.

Well, better get the rest of my stuff gathered up…..see ya in Minnesota!!

Life and Everyday

ducks in a row….

 

this week I have be trying to figure out just about anything and everything that has been coming my way.  school, K, family stuff, friends stuff, eating stuffs, pain management…..you name it, i have been trying to figure it out.  and now i am exhausted.  have i really gotten anything done, no.

i had a mini meltdown this week myself.  i have a couple great friends who walked with me through it tho.  prayed me through it.  there is so much that i need to just hand over to God and let Him take care of it.  why is that so hard?

school stuff is giving me anxiety attacks left and right.  i am registered for classes.  i have decided to just get a general degree in LYHS.  Not really a concentration area because, my life is too busy.  I am a non trad student with a family and life.  I don’t have all the time in the world to give up to volunteering and building my portfolio at this time.  i need to work cuz paying for college isn’t easy.  i need to spend time with K cuz she is my daughter and needs me.  I am doing the best I can with what I have.  I need for my advisor to see that too.  My health hasn’t been the greatest these past months.  But I know i am getting better.  I feel the weight coming off.  I see it.  I feel different.

tomorrow i see the orthopedic doc regarding my knee.  i hope that it will be an easy fix.  i am sick of pain meds and pain in general.  i think that is part of the problem.  pain.  i don’t deal with it very well.

Tomorrow I leave to go to Oklahoma.  I will be meeting a bunch of folks whom I have been volunteering online with for the past couple years.  LifeChurch.tv.  amazing folks.  I can’t wait.  I am a tad nervous but yet so excited, that it doesn’t matter how nervous I am.  LOL

Lastly tonight, I want to say I am thankful for some truly amazing friends.  They have helped me get through this week thus far.  Without you, I am sure I would still be a mess….or more of a mess than I already am.  I love you guys.

Weigh in tomorrow morning since Friday I will be on the road.  I can’t wait to see what my weight loss is this week.  woohooo.

 

Life and Everyday

contemplating exam

Well tomorrow is my exam that I have been putting off for the past week.  It’s on the Holocaust….at least what we have learned thus far in the class.  Read the book by Ruth Kluger, her memoir.  Very moving and very much from her young girl perspective as she was a child when this happened.  It’s interesting to see it all through a child’s eyes.  Different from other movies and books I have read where it was from the outside looking in type stuff.

Then read this book by Borowoski.  I think that is how his name is spelled.  Will have to check on that later.  His account was very intense and almost to the point of making me feel sick by the graphic details he used from his memory of time at Auschwitz.  It makes me sick that the Nazi’s made these people do things that were so awful and horrible.  to have to witness so much and that.

Comparing and contrasting the various movies/documentaries and books and stories.  It makes my mind spin at times.  I can’t grasp it all.  I need to go over the dates and some facts again so I get them in my head.  The exam is to be at 10 am.  I am supposed to have an appointment with Angie at 9.  So will be interesting getting back across town on time.  Plus I don’t know where Baker Hall is for sure.  LOL  Guess I should look that up tonight before I head to bed.

My mind has been swirling with all sorts of things lately.  Today is the first day in a long time, that I feel pretty ok.  Not so freaked out over stuff.  Though I did have to deal with social security today.  what idiots.  The kept telling me that I have an over payment, but they can’t seem to find a record or correspondence about it or why it happened.  So, again, not my fault.  I hope they realize that.  But of course, I had to fill out another form stating that I didn’t know and have no clue as they haven’t sent me anything other than one letter saying that i was overpaid.  No reasons why or what for.  and so it goes.

anyways, back to classes.  I am almost caught up in all classes.  just a few more assignments to finish up typing.  they are about the Holocaust readings.  We are reading “The Shawl”.  it’s interesting from yet another point of view.  of survivors coming to the States and trying to figure out life.  Give me a couple more days to type it all up.  By Thursday, I will have it all done.

Life Church is celebrating their volunteers coming up in November.  i am excited.  It’s called the Big Show.  November 18.  I can’t wait to go.  It’s right at the beginning of Thanksgiving break for me.  So spending a few days in OKC with friends will be so very awesome.  Meeting the people I do the services with in person.  Meeting up in person.  A. MA. ZING!!!