This is my K. And I love her so much. Then I sigh when I look at these pictures.
I sigh because of her elegance. It makes this mommy’s heart smile and it makes me proud. It makes me proud because she could care less if everything doesn’t match perfectly. She could care less if she looks ridiculous. She could care less what anyone else thinks of her outfits or her hair. (she loves them and that is all that counts) She could care less if it is a “bad” picture of her. If her smile is weird. Or her hair is messy.
Does any of that sound familiar to any of you? Familiar as in-exact opposite of our own thoughts. I’ve lost my flair. My could care less. I delete and delete pictures of me that just look awkward.
K is free from such inhibitions. She is happy with her looks. She is not concerned with how beautiful she is. She loves to put rabbit ears behind anyone and everyone’s head. She is just being herself.
And I wonder…how did I get from there to here?
When did I start to care how I looked in photographs? When did I start to see myself as fat or ugly? When did I start to compare myself with others?
And, how can I encourage her, my sweet girl, to stay in this frame of mind she is in? How can I tell her everyday she is beautiful?
How can we teach our girls they are beautiful-no matter what anyone may say?
We can help them cultivate inner beauty. I think LC is beautiful outwardly. But, it is her personality that makes her shine. Even more than personality, though, inward-character beauty, that is what makes a woman beautiful. Growing in love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and self control. Those are what makes a girl truly beautiful.
I don’t think we can emphasize character development too much. But I also think that there is nothing wrong with complementing our children (girls) on how they look.
Christians have swung very far right (or wrong, in my opinion) in the matter of physical compliments. I was taught that complementing someone’s physical beauty was the worst form of flattery. We don’t want to just emphasize the outward-especially at the cost of the inward. We don’t want to produce a bunch of vain idoits. But…is there a balance?
We can teach our girls to love their bodies and be confident in their looks, by loving our bodies and being confident in our looks.
By not shying away from the camera, nor deleting all the “bad” pictures of ourselves.
By not complaining about our fat bellies, and thighs, and butts.
By not resenting the stretch marks. Each and every one a mark of the blessings God has poured into our lives by way of our babies.
By taking delight in being a woman. Being feminine. Taking pride in dressing girly.
By taking care of our bodies-eating right, exercising, sleeping, doing our nails. All outward things, but all important. There is a belief, dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Let’s treat ourselves as beautiful, and we will be beautiful.
By not letting our brothers, or any other person in their life, tease them about their weight or any other physical feature. Just not tolerate it.
We need to commit to loving our girls and making them feel lovable and beautiful-no matter how they look, no matter what they do.
We need to encourage them to be girls, to be princesses, all their lives.
We need to remind them of what they knew as girls-their worth and beauty is not defined by Hollywood. It isn’t defined by a certain color hair, or a small dress size, or a brand.
Their beauty is a inner beauty that spills over to the outside. Their beauty is character. Their beauty is spunk. Their beauty is individual.
“Beauty is not based on how attractive we are to everybody else, but how attractive we are to ourselves, for one cannot think other people think they are full of beauty unless they know they are beautiful too.”-unknown
“What no beautician would ever tell a woman is that the secret to being beautiful is thinking the right thoughts.”-unknown
“He has made everything beautiful in His time.”
” Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”