I know I have blogged earlier about a man named Dr. Henry Cloud who wrote a book called “Necessary Endings”. I believe I shared a video of him talking on that subject as well. What an awesome message he has to share.
The summer is ending here. K will start back to school next week. A new teacher, a handful of new kids, new shoes, and I am sure lots of new stories to tell. I, too, will be returning to classes in another week. This is my last year at UNI. I received all my textbooks that I have ordered from amazon, except for one, which was sent in the wrong edition. Otherwise I am ready.
I am post op 5 days now. I am feeling really good. At times, I get pangs of pain, but it’s nothing that I can’t handle. I have found that crying hurts and laughing hurts too. I didn’t realize that so many stomach muscles were involved in the two actions. I’d much rather laugh tho. I have cried a few times already due to things beyond my control. I have found that stress/anxiety is not good for me right now. It makes the stomach muscles tight and achy. It’s hard to breathe too. I have vowed to breathe through whatever comes up right now. Let me tell you….I certainly know how to breathe. I wish I could avoid anxiety and stress in general until the healing was more done (not the proper way to say it). But, to no avail, stress and anxiety are rampant in my life once again.
While I was listening to Dr. Cloud last night, I realized that there are definitely some necessary endings that need to take place in my life. First and foremost, the way that I eat. I need to eat for healthy reasons not to stop or stuff a feeling. I have done really well in that area the past 6-8 months. But struggling over things with a friend of mine, I find that I want to snack more. I can’t do that now either. I know I will get sick. So instead, I am dealing with the emotions and everything that comes with it now. It’s not so bad getting right down to it. It just means I have to be bold in my actions and words. No half-way about it.
Dr. Cloud mentioned that it takes courage to end stuff. God will open something up next and it will blow your mind. He is so right!! I am using my courage to step out of a hurtful situation, friendship. Things were said and done on both our parts that should have never happened. But the truth of the matter is, I feel like I was naive in thinking that someone would not take advantage of me. Especially when this person claimed to be my best friend. I believe things have been happening over the past year and half or maybe longer. I trusted her, she broke that trust and I didn’t find out until just a few days ago. Long story short, this friendship is now her choice to deal with. I know where I stand and what I want to do. I am living it. I will not “beat her over the head” with it, I just am weary of ever being so trusting. I believe this says more about her than it does about me.
God has bigger plans for me. I feel it and I see it. My God is supernatural. God is alive and He is listening to my thoughts. I know that if I keep believing that He is my Creator, I can let go of my way of doing things. He is the creator of my tomorrows. I know He will take care of whatever is coming next. As a few of my friends say, “He’s got this one, just like the last one.”
Both beginnings and endings are hard. Heck, even the in between times are difficult. But I trust in God and my friends and family. I know who loves and cares for me. That is most important.